See the World Through My Eyes

Bin There. Dump That.

Last weekend I embarked on a general house cleaning that lasted from saturday till Sunday. I had no choice but to appreciate Carol, the woman who has been my house keeper for 7 years. How she has managed to keep my den neat and fresh with great dedication and consistence still surprises me. I also got to do some filling as fate would have it,  I got to learn some very important lessons.

You see when you decide to clean up, you realize how much trash you don’t need. Name it, clothes, books and various other junk. You come across stuff you thought was valuable earlier but now lies useless taking up precious space. Junk. That’s what it is. Yet the process of an object becoming junk is hard to notice. It’s like watching grass grow. Have you ever noticed when re-arranging your documents how much of them you end up throwing away? It’s because now they just don’t make sense. They have become just mere records of done deals and dull reminders of the challenges that nearly killed your hopes in the past. Invoices. Hotel postcards for when you went for holiday with your now ex. Now useless instead of making happy memories. How about the bank statements you nearly framed just because you thought it was the fattest your account would ever get? Now they represent a younger you, when you were broke and humble enough to appreciate the little you had. All in all, there is the junk  you get to keep but the largest chunk of it just needs to go.

My lesson? Friends. I think it’s time you trashed your 50/50 friends. They are not good for you and it is clear that they will never be there in your time of need. Go on, tell me that you’ve known them since you were young! Well, people change. Do you have an idea what they think of you? Have they ever proved it? Has anyone ever told  you what they say in your absence? Do they rejoice when something good happens to you? More questions. If you had/have a family, would these ‘friends’ take care of it in the event of your demise? No? Would they put you up at theirs if you lost your job? Would they share the ‘little’ they have with you? When was the last time they declared their loyalty to you? You probably don’t have any idea what I’m talking about. I don’t blame you.

In the past one year, I have had to ‘clean up house’. I am still in the process. Results are starting to show. I have fewer worries and I care less. I am happier.  I’m still the ‘good guy’ only colder , bolder and more calm inside. I play along to the music of my fake friends, all the while knowing what it means. I will hardly ever go out of my way for them unless of course there’s something in it for me. I’m a businessman. As I have said time and time again, I don’t have enemies in my life, only challenges. And to my true friends, I give my all. I might not make it clear to them but I prove it every now and then. These are the people I would die for. These are the people I would commit a crime for. They know.

So how many friends do you have? I mean seriously. Most chances are, you have none. What you have right now are just acquaintances. Very few people manage to have true friends. It’s time. To shed off the baggage. You have done everything for some of them yet they keep sinking your boat. Talking evil in your absence. Mocking you in your time of difficulty when you need them the most. They join your aggressors when they should be defending your name as you would theirs. You’ve tried hard to do well by them and for them but you’re met with those unsaid words. They go silent when you walk in. In their silence, their hateful whispers tower over your head. How is it that thugs and villains will be true to their friends to the point of making them family, while the rest of us rejoice in drinking and making merry with the hounds that would kill us for a price? I would like you to take a piece of paper and write down 5 friends that you can swear will come through for you when that time comes. 5 that you can die for. Trust me, I feel your pain.

This post is dedicated to my mother. Happy birthday mum. Through you, I’ve learnt the value of loyalty and true friendship. Now that you’re able to read my blog, please remember that my readers are still waiting for your post. I wish they knew how good a writer you are!

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29 responses

  1. Wainaina

    You’ve hit the nail while its hot, because i’ve been in thought & transition. What you’ve pointed out & blogged about is very true, well in!

    Like

    July 27, 2011 at 10:22 AM

    • Thanks man! If that’s the case, I am totally humbled.

      Like

      July 27, 2011 at 12:22 PM

  2. Profound read, this.. It’s about time i did the same thing in my life.

    Like

    July 27, 2011 at 10:24 AM

    • Thanks bro. That I caught the attention of one of the most famous bloggers in the country is a blessing! Try it man! It works like miracles.

      Like

      July 27, 2011 at 12:23 PM

  3. Joe

    spot on!

    Like

    July 27, 2011 at 10:42 AM

    • Word! :-)

      Like

      July 27, 2011 at 12:23 PM

  4. Anonymous

    oh so true!!!

    Like

    July 27, 2011 at 11:11 AM

    • I appreciate you taking time to read this! :-)

      Like

      July 27, 2011 at 12:23 PM

  5. Davis

    Awesome stuff.More often than not we are all to afraid to acknowledge that we have more aquaintances than friends.

    Like

    July 27, 2011 at 11:30 AM

    • Thank you ever so much Davis. Fear is our worst enemy!

      Like

      July 27, 2011 at 12:24 PM

  6. Most of the people I refer, or have referred to, as friends are, indeed, but close acquintances.

    Like

    July 27, 2011 at 11:42 AM

    • It’s sad but liberating for sure! How goes it Mr. Abuga?

      Like

      July 27, 2011 at 12:25 PM

  7. Eve

    Hey Micheal, just got this link from one of my very few girlfriends that I have…it only reinforced what I chose to do a while back! Many thanks. Great read mr!

    Like

    July 27, 2011 at 11:46 AM

    • Thank you Eve :-) I am honored that I played a role in your quest.

      Like

      July 27, 2011 at 12:27 PM

  8. ahenda

    SO TRUE!! i was reading this and i found myself slightly embarassed,with cheeks going red..simply because i had embarked on this process in futility so many times yet i have never really given it the seriousness and dedication it deserves beacuase i was and still afraid of losing my “friends” : so, thank you for the reminder!

    “When someone leaves, it’s because someone else is about to arrive.”
    — Paulo Coelho (The Zahir)”

    and as always… very raw writing! thumbs up!!

    Like

    July 27, 2011 at 12:34 PM

    • word! :-) To find true friends is to find true happiness. To lose bad friendship is the beginning of bliss. to achieve all these you first need to lose the fear. Always great writing with and for you Ahenda. :-)

      Like

      July 27, 2011 at 3:25 PM

  9. Love the track :)

    Like

    July 27, 2011 at 12:39 PM

    • big tune a gwan!

      Like

      July 27, 2011 at 3:20 PM

  10. Cathy

    Great article! I tried counting 5 true friends that i have and i can’t! sad huh? My mom always said if you have one true friend you are a wealthy person. I have two and i’m thankful to have them in my life. I think when we’re younger we want to hold on to as many people as we can but as we get older we realise that the number of “friends” we have does not define us, and so we start to look for quality instead of quantity. Thanks for sharing. A good read. :)

    Like

    July 27, 2011 at 4:28 PM

    • sad for sure, but it’s never too late. One is enough.

      Like

      July 27, 2011 at 5:13 PM

  11. Anonymous

    This ia one of my BEST blogs yet thatnks for remining us whom our true friends are…..

    Like

    July 27, 2011 at 4:52 PM

  12. Emma Nudi

    Thanks for reminding us that there comes a time when you have to do the sieving process and separate real friends from chaff… An Absolutely nice a read

    Like

    July 28, 2011 at 7:52 AM

  13. ruwaydah javed

    of all days i needed this….what you call cleaning up is what my mother used to reffer to as weeding the garden…well i haven’t weeded out my garden in a long time. I needed some motivation to stop making excuses for some weeds in my life who are only there dependant mostly on the good times and those that are there all the time…if i could count my real friends i wouldn’t make it to three let alone five…but i also believe in second chances!

    Like

    July 28, 2011 at 12:33 PM

    • thanks javed! :-) It’s weeding the garden for sure. The motivation lies within you. At first it will be scary but trust me, it gets better. Have you ever thought of writing? From your response I can tell that you can be a good author.

      Like

      July 28, 2011 at 2:35 PM

  14. Njeri

    Whoa! I’ve read this post more than 3 times now!
    Truly inspiring and Michael, you’re blunt.
    I refer to my “not-so-friends” as my “frenemies”.

    Like

    July 30, 2011 at 6:32 PM

  15. Pingback: Friendship Rant « kiumyamuthaka

  16. Pingback: Crossroads – Storymoja Monthly Blog Expo « Storymoja

  17. Ed

    Just saw this link with the rest nominated on the Story Moja blog. Great read. Wow, very well said. I think my list only has two friends. Interesting how we may think we are surrounded by so many friends only to realize that we are not when hard times hit. Great title too – ‘Bin There. Dump That.’ Classic. :)

    Like

    August 9, 2011 at 8:56 AM

  18. JERITH

    I keep reading about this everywhere i turn ,i guess the universe is trying to tell me to clean out my closet..
    I would like you to take a piece of paper and write down 5 friends that you can swear will come through for you when that time comes. 5 that you can die for. Trust me, I feel your pain.well my piece of paper is still blank.
    Good stuff.

    Like

    December 29, 2011 at 3:55 PM

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