Two Things and the ‘Thing’ in Between
“Let me tell you how you measure a man. When his world starts to fall, see how tall he stands. It matters not how many times you fall down, what matters most is how many times you rise. Mistakes build character. Character takes you places money can’t” – T.I.
In this world there are two kinds of people. The haves and the have nots. Among the haves there are two types of people. Those that are wealthy and those that are successful. Among the successful; two things. Those that give a hoot and those that don’t. With those that give a hoot; two things. They are either driven by principles or they are grounded on values. Principles and values have distinct characteristics but are often divided by a thin line therefore, they can be easily confused.
And so today I will tell you a few differences between these two based on my perspective. Walk with me.
• Principles inspire confidence, Values breed trust.
Helena is sitting at the Cafe with one big issue on her mind. She is in love with two men but can’t get to pick which one to fall for and which one to give the ‘friendship speech’. She is in a tricky situation. You see the first guy Patrick, is a professional who’s star is on the rise. He is one of those individuals constantly getting recognized for a job well done. His pay slip speaks well of him too. He is the kind of guy who is neat beyond comment and the type who will never accept his woman to pay for anything. He is somewhat mechanical too. He doesn’t forget dates, be it birthdays or a promise to call at a certain time. He is reliable. He is also very predictable and has a fixed schedule that he usually cannot break. He works like a donkey and his goal is to be a fellow at the institute of business blah blah blah…
Then we find Frank who even now as were talking is entertaining kids at the bouncing castle behind the restaurant. He has this childish side that makes him look like a nine year old. He has a good job in one of the big companies but always has time to play. He loves cars and everything that comes in the ‘good times’ tag. Frank forgets faces and dates easily so he’s always in a fight with everyone when it comes to memory. He is a very intense and emotional creature. He knows what to say and exactly when to say it. When Helena needs to talk, she calls him and everything turns out alright in the end. According to Frank, love and family come first. He has always been there when Helena needed him. He is not well off financially compared to Patrick who is HUGE in the corporate circles. Not a big problem though, according to Helena. Patrick has principles. Frank has values. Helena has confidence in Patrick yet she trusts Frank more. She just needs to choose one [sigh].
• Principles are based on fear, Values…passion
Lately Lisbeth has noticed a change in her boyfriend’s behavior. Joe doesn’t have time for her anymore. He doesn’t call as much as he used to and has stopped calling her the lovely pet names that she was used to. She in turn has decided to sit back and wait for him to come round. After all, it is in her principles not to be the ‘beggar’ in any relationship. She is beautiful and is always warding off suitors. She is a proud woman and doesn’t need to chase after any man. But is this really the case? Or is she just afraid that everything might come tumbling down when she raises her concern? Her boyfriend is very unpredictable and confronting him is akin to a suicide mission. She has always suspected him of being unfaithful but would rather die than confront him. She lives in constant fear. But she can’t afford to show it. She’s also a control freak. She’d rather look strong and focused than face her demons. Unknown to her, Joe decided to back off after he noticed she didn’t have time for him. They love each other intensely but can’t seem to find common ground between fear and passion. Both are natural reactions, but one needs to conquer the other.
• Principles thrive in pride, Values in humility
After 35 years of working hard and making the right investments, Mr. Robert is finally retiring. He is rich and has a tidy stash that will enable him to live comfortably for the rest of his life. He always has to point this fact out in all his conversations. His children are all grown and are successful professionals. But wait, it’s been 2 years since he last spoke to them!
Next door, we have Bobby the family man. He works as the president’s butler at State House. For the past 20 years the routine has been the same. Every morning, he bundles up the whole family in a van and volunteers to drop everyone off at work and school. He loves his family and they love him back. He is also retiring in a few years. Of course he’ll not end up as rich as Mr. Robert but he will be comfortable nonetheless. His family too.
Let it be known that principles and values are different in nature, but work exceptionally well together. All we need to know is how to find the perfect blend between the two. This blend varies from one person to the next.
Principles create history, Values….heritage.
Principles are based on the past and present. Values are timeless.
Principles are based on goals. Values…vision.
Dedicated to my sister whom I love with my heart. Gortoz a ran – I will never stop waiting for you.
“When someone invites you to a wedding feast, do not take the place of honor, for a person more distinguished than you may have been invited. If so, the host who invited both of you will come and say to you, ‘Give this person your seat.’ Then, humiliated, you will have to take the least important place. But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, ‘Friend, move up to a better place.’ Then you will be honored in the presence of all the other guests. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” – Jesus Christ