See the World Through My Eyes

Why You Should Cheat

I could get shot for what I’m about to say but I don’t care [Someone had to do it anyway]. I owe it to my readers to always tell them the truth about life. In the process, I risk exposing myself and losing everything I have. So today I will tell you why you need to cheat and not feel guilty about it.

I believe it’s okay to cheat. In fact, your life depends on it! How the hell does one live just committed to one individual? My head hurts just at the thought of stopping everything for one person. It is a crime of dire consequences and the already dead and miserable can bear me witness. We were not made to be committed to one person and we were definitely not made lacking the ability to love more than one.

Please control your emotions and let me finish… 

Let’s do role play. You be the troubled patient and I’ll be your wise shrink. Lie down on my couch and close your eyes. I will ask you questions that I will need you to answer truthfully.

How come you are still lonely despite having a significant other? Do you go through those moments where your life is just blank and aimless when your partner is ‘supposed’ to be there for you? Does it make you wonder why in the first place you have a boyfriend if they can’t seem to do their ‘job’? Do you think that your girlfriend is self centered and only thinks about herself 200% of the time? Is she always going on about her shoes, her moods, her job and whining almost all the time? When was the last time she asked you how you were doing? Oh I forgot, it’s always about her isn’t it? Doesn’t it get to you how she complains that you’ve changed lately?  How she likes the person you were when she first met you? Does a small part of you wish that one day she’ll break up with you and set you free?  Do you feel imprisoned? Does a smaller part of you wish you’d bust her cheating on you at some point  and just kill the relationship abruptly?

Your boyfriend only cares about soccer and is always running the town trying to make that extra buck you don’t need. Is he always shrouded in mystery? Does it feel like he’s playing you? How about his girlfriends that you always suspect and hate with your life? How come they make you angry yet you found them already in his life when you met? Why now? Would you rather he cancel his plans and spend an evening with you over a romantic dinner? Do you feel like he doesn’t understand you anymore? Do you feel like you’d want a guy who’s always there for you, caring for and pampering you? Well I got a solution for you. Cheat on him. Cheat on her. Let’s all cheat on each other and let’s just be one happy planet!

Before you go breaking the champagne and hurling fists at me for bringing out your innermost sentiments, I would like to explain what I mean by cheat.

I want you to take your mind’s eye back to who you were before you met your girlfriend. You used to have great friends, good times and very likely an active hobby. You enjoyed meeting up with those flirty cute girls every once in a while (Every man enjoys the company of  fly women). Remember how your phone always used to be busy with friends calling you up for plans? You never used to schedule any drink ups but they used to come to you. You never missed the weekly soccer practice and the quarterly fishing trips. Come Mondays, you were always upbeat waiting and anticipating for the next exciting experience. You used to be active. You used to be a player!! You were the MAN back then! Let me also guess one more thing, you were never broke! Remember?

And you my dear girl, were really pretty back then. You almost got police protection because the boys wouldn’t let you live in peace. They always waited in line to take you out for dates. You had a great body because work out was your daily devotion. Remember your love for shoes? Everyone knew you had amazing taste. You were quite the dancer too! Was it salsa classes you were taking every evening? You always said salsa was your life. When did you stop writing? Did the inspiration die? Nothing to write about anymore? It must be a long while since you went out with the girls. You always never missed the chance to travel and take pictures. What went down? Now you’re always home when he calls. Always complaining how lonely and bored you are. Forever whining about how he never makes time for you and is always running around with his friends. Look at you! You can’t even watch a movie without falling asleep in the middle of the action scenes! Poor girl, don’t you realize that the world didn’t change? Your man is still the same man you met 5 years ago. The only difference is when he came into your life, you threw your [life] out the window.

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why you fell in love with your significant other in the first place? What did you find attractive in them that was too strong for you to resist? If my guess is right, it’s because they had other ‘loves’ in their lives. It’s what made them stand out. You loved how he was passionate about music and cooking. You liked how she struggled every weekend with her paintings even when the world knew she was a crappy painter. How she was passionate about singing even when all she could manage was a weak croak in the shower.

As humans, we are attracted to people who seem to have the good stuff going for them. People with dreams, ambitions and charisma. People with hobbies and active lives. No one wants to hang out let alone commit to boring and blank people. It’s time to get back to who you were when you first met her. It’s not going to be an easy task my brother. At first, you’ll have to do it behind her back because she won’t take your sudden change of character just lying down. In essence, you’ll have to cheat on her with the good things that made her fall in love with you. I’m talking about those things that you like doing alone. Don’t worry, it is a natural desire to want some alone time every now and then. It would be a strenuous experience to drag your woman when going to have a drink with your friends who are women wouldn’t it? Ever seen a cat fight? No? Good. Don’t be in a hurry to see one.  This ‘cheating’ does not include getting romantically involved with another person while still in a relationship. It does not involve doing things that will hurt the one(s) you love. This ‘cheating’ is about bringing back the spark and setting you and your lover free.

So you like practicing on your guitar alone? Go for it! All I’m saying is that you are more attractive when you have a life of your own. When you have some hobbies and friends that are exclusive to you. Of course there are those things you can do with your partner and have fun while at it but then there are things that define you. Stuff that reminds you that you’re still on course and in control of your life. The moment you lose what makes who you are, you lose your life and you lose all the people around you.

Take time to evaluate and appreciate yourself. When you love yourself, the world loves you back. When you love yourself, you are able to love others without effort. When you develop yourself, you are able to empower others. When you cultivate and are comfortable in your character, the world learns to lean and trust in you.

So go on player, It’s time to cheat on your partner. Don’t feel guilty about it; you will see the results soon enough.

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100 responses

  1. Asania

    That’s great stuff there.for a moment i was like what is this person saying,but now i get it…

    Like

    July 2, 2014 at 12:31 PM

  2. This is some great stuff bruh..

    Like

    July 2, 2014 at 1:16 PM

    • Saying it as practical as I think it should be said bro. Thanks.

      Like

      July 9, 2014 at 12:02 PM

  3. Qaphela

    great article

    Like

    July 2, 2014 at 1:26 PM

    • Thank you Qaphela.

      Like

      July 9, 2014 at 12:01 PM

  4. http://www.gmail.com

    Like

    July 2, 2014 at 1:38 PM

  5. Sk

    good stuff……

    Like

    July 2, 2014 at 2:28 PM

  6. mcebo

    i remember the good times beer with my boys,stress free

    Like

    July 2, 2014 at 2:29 PM

  7. Pingback: Back to my cheating ways…. | The Divine Bandit

  8. You’ve made SO many valuable points – thanks for this eye opener

    Like

    July 2, 2014 at 7:02 PM

    • Thank you Sandor. Any ideas on what I can write about next time?

      Like

      July 9, 2014 at 12:01 PM

  9. Ike

    Good stuff…

    Like

    July 2, 2014 at 8:31 PM

    • Thank you!

      Like

      July 9, 2014 at 12:00 PM

  10. I agree with most of your theory except for the part that you say “go do things alone that made you happy stand alone from your partner” I don’t advice anyone to establish a life away from or different from her partner it will grow a barrier between them and these seperate lives they’d be leading will just grow them apart. If one is in it for the long run better just drag your partner everywhere even to those girlfriends she don’t like. I think the golden rule is don’t love what your partner hates. Just puts too much strain on your relationship

    Like

    July 3, 2014 at 12:57 AM

    • Will you stop painting just because your partner hates it and wants you all to their self? I believe that you should find a way to love and take interest in the things that please your partner; only then will you experience the best quality of life together. However, every such thing is a process. Before you get to sharing hobbies, you must assert your right to practise your own hobbies and also a responsibility of selling the same to your partner.

      Like

      July 9, 2014 at 12:00 PM

      • Winnie

        Great article, I agree…for one to bring life into the relationship he/she must have a life of their own.. Once they lose it even the relationship suffer.

        Like

        August 24, 2014 at 7:13 AM

  11. Toni Smears

    Wow this is so true. I always put it as “Quenched my thirst or just the medicine I need to keep both of us happy.” Take your space you deserve it.

    Like

    July 3, 2014 at 9:03 AM

    • Everyone needs space for self discovery. When this is lacking in a relationship, two people end up in a cold war where the relationship then becomes a prison.

      Like

      July 9, 2014 at 11:50 AM

  12. Kamogelo

    For a moment I thought this was a joke but then when I continued reading it somethings got me thinking and it really helped me put some situations into perspective. Great work guys

    Like

    July 3, 2014 at 11:24 AM

    • Thank you Kamogelo. I am glad you read it to the end. You can imagine how many threats I have received from readers who stopped at the first para.

      Like

      July 9, 2014 at 11:48 AM

  13. delma

    Wow,I got inspired

    Like

    July 3, 2014 at 4:01 PM

    • Thank you! I am always happy when that happens! Any thoughts on what other topic I can write about?

      Like

      July 9, 2014 at 11:46 AM

    • Now your comment inspired me!

      Like

      July 9, 2014 at 12:05 PM

  14. Anonymous

    its a well written at witty piece, i actually kept an open mind when i saw the headline and the lady i sat next to while reading was hilariously outraged saying how do i even read stuff about cheating……LORD!!!

    Like

    July 4, 2014 at 10:04 AM

    • Thank you for your compliment. I hope the lady you sat next to will get to read this. We should be open minded enough to first assess data before blowing it off right?

      Like

      July 9, 2014 at 11:45 AM

  15. Anonymous

    Great stuff

    Like

    July 4, 2014 at 12:27 PM

  16. Anonymous

    Welcome HIV and Aids…let’s all say hi to a Zombie nation, marriage is a holy circle between two people to build and creat a home for pure innocent children into the world to make the world a better place not a passion killing paradise.

    Like

    July 4, 2014 at 10:29 PM

  17. Reblogged this on I AM SAMTASTIK and commented:
    Take the time to be your own person

    Like

    July 6, 2014 at 11:38 PM

    • Individuality is the only thing you can offer the people you love. Be yourself and fight for your identity and the world will love and respect you.

      Like

      July 9, 2014 at 11:39 AM

  18. I’ve been cheating for a while now and I didn’t even know it…thanks for the eye opener! It’s time she joins me @ it
    #HappyCheating

    Like

    July 7, 2014 at 10:03 AM

    • That’d be a great start. It gets better when she decides to join you. I believe it is the ideal situation when your partner takes interest in your interest. But when they decide to keep you from what you love then it ceases to be love.

      Like

      July 9, 2014 at 11:38 AM

  19. Anonymous

    Bullshit!

    Like

    July 9, 2014 at 9:57 AM

  20. Pingback: Awesome By Association

  21. Reblogged this on Rants and Raves and commented:
    Good read.

    Like

    July 28, 2014 at 10:39 AM

  22. someone

    This is a dope artical……should put it up as poetry/spoken word…..let it further than just this……….remember not everyone is going to like it…….but that’s the nice thing about an opinion……its your own………..

    Like

    August 21, 2014 at 4:43 PM

  23. Reblogged this on I blog what I like and commented:
    Excellent read!!!

    Like

    August 21, 2014 at 6:47 PM

  24. Linabo

    4 a moment there i was lyk…”s ths guy 4 real”. Ths s great stuff. Thank you.

    Like

    August 22, 2014 at 1:17 AM

  25. Anonymous

    This is all well and good if both parties have agreed to be okay with either one cheating on the other otherwise leading a double life and your partner potentially finding out about it could fuel a lot of resentment and ultimately cause a split. Which i assume you are doing since you say you run the risk of being exposed and losing everything you have. Cheating with whomever you please means you spend less time getting to know someome coz really why spend time with them when you have so many options to choose from. Spending time in getting to know someone is what makes you fall in love with them because it takes time for people to reveal their true selves and from that you can make up your mind about whether to love them or not. If u want to spend time with a bunch of pretenders every so often then that’s fine. This lifestyle is fine if you aren’t looking to settle down and have a family etc because once there’s little people involved the dynamics change and you can’t be selfish anymore. Also the risk of STIs like the one reader mentioned…Its just really messy!

    Like

    August 23, 2014 at 9:36 AM

  26. Natasha

    This is all well and good if both parties have agreed to be okay with either one cheating on the other otherwise leading a double life and your partner potentially finding out about it could fuel a lot of resentment and ultimately cause a split. Which i assume you are doing since you say you run the risk of being exposed and losing everything you have. Cheating with whomever you please means you spend less time getting to know someome coz really why spend time with them when you have so many options to choose from. Spending time in getting to know someone is what makes you fall in love with them because it takes time for people to reveal their true selves and from that you can make up your mind about whether to love them or not. If u want to spend time with a bunch of pretenders every so often then that’s fine. This lifestyle is fine if you aren’t looking to settle down and have a family etc because once there’s little people involved the dynamics change and you can’t be selfish anymore. Also the risk of STIs like the one reader mentioned…Its just really messy!

    Like

    August 23, 2014 at 9:38 AM

  27. Lebo

    Wonderful it feels like u are talking to me. I left my life de moment I said I do now I’m bored n making him feel guilty about it. I see now where I went wrong tx a lot. Cheating here I come

    Like

    August 23, 2014 at 9:58 PM

  28. Lebohang M

    Natasha I think you need to read the WHOLE article before talking about other people as being the potentials of cheating.

    The first time I saw the heading I was like “this man/woman must be outta their flippen minds” then I read the article and it was sad when I read the last 2 words because I would have loved for it to continue. This is an excellent read, something I am definitely going to send to my partner. Hopefully he will agree to this cheating arrangement.

    #HappyCheating.

    Like

    August 24, 2014 at 8:33 AM

  29. calvin

    True ,I’m doing this already but didn’t know it was cheating I just felt I need 2 do me more

    Like

    September 20, 2014 at 9:25 AM

  30. jenny

    spot on and well said…even in day to day activities and commitments……don’t loose yourself,its OK to be YOU!

    Like

    March 20, 2015 at 10:00 AM

  31. Reblogged this on Blooming Butterfly and commented:
    Yes !

    Like

    March 19, 2016 at 5:59 PM

  32. Adele

    At first I thought, why would someone encourage the one thing that destroys relationships. But when I continued reading, I got to see that what your are is so profound and true, I like that

    Like

    July 2, 2016 at 9:37 AM

  33. John Mokhele

    An excellent read indeed. the heading was just twisted to want to draw negative attention but at the end of it all, it was all positive and indeed encouraging. In essence, it says its bad to cheat but good to accommodate each other in our relationships, to still want to unleash our full personal potential while still accommodating our partners.

    Like

    August 15, 2016 at 6:43 PM

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