See the World Through My Eyes

Posts tagged “Coca-Cola

Jacking Off

First of all, I would like to send my warmest regards to all the readers who sent me hate mail in the past thirty-four days of my absence. I feel embarassed for letting you down and disappearing despite having promised to always update my blog on a regular basis. At the same time, I am humbled that you were following my blog all along. I decided to take some time off after I noticed I kept on writing negative things about life’s experiences. I honestly thought the break would change my paradigm and I would come back with lots of positive energy and all the other flowery things that come with it. Then we’d go ahead and talk about a happy world with nice people who in the end,  get to live happily ever after.   Well, I’m back and I have sad news. Nothing’s changed. Life is hard and everyday is a new challenge. You can’t run from this fact unless you choose to end it [get my drift?]. Call the waiter, order whatever you want; I’ll have a double syrup and Krest™.

I quit Jack & Coke. Yes I did, and I don’t think I will ever miss the drink. I think it’s a hopeless drink and it’s overrated. I am embarassed that I even dedicated three articles to the damn soot-smelling poison from Tennessee! It’s funny  because I never thought a day would come when this drink would taste like bile in my mouth. That’s just life. And in the process of living, we learn. In my short relationship with Jack & Coke I learnt probably the biggest lesson of my life. Letting go. Also now known as Jacking Off. I invented the phrase just incase you’re wowing at how genius the term sounds and you happen to be a literature Nobel Prize judge looking for new talent (hint). Let’s talk about your life. Let’s explore all the valid reasons why you need to Jack Off from the things you are so attached to; I’m talking about those things that drain you and limit your potential. Everyone wants to be happy but only a few people have what it takes [the freedom] to BE happy.

You like your job but don’t necessarily love it. Mondays are a nightmare. Your boss is an eye-sore. Routine. Whoever invented routine? Was this how a JOB is meant to be? Why is your heart weary and your body exhausted? It’s right in front of you. This is not supposed to be your destiny. Remember when we were young? Two-thirds of all young boys wanted to be pilots in the future. Only a handful in a million actually even became air stewards. Now, our house of cards keep toppling over. You can still be a pilot, but in another life. You’re stuck with your lousy job and this ugly cycle seems like it will go on for five lifetimes. YOU NEED TO JACK OFF! It’s never too late to dream again. Pick yourself up. Slowly, try to find out what else you can do that will give you satisfaction. Don’t rush to quit your job without a back up plan. When Jacking Off, you need to go easy on yourself. After all, you want maximum satisfaction in the end right?

In this day and age, most people in my age group have more than three ex-es. We have lived such turbulent love lives that these ex-es have somehow become a permanent part of our lives. In fact, I would be right in assuming you are where you are in your love-life because of your ex. Hate me. Hate your boyfriend’s ex. You can’t change the past. You just have to deal with it by learning from it. However, there is always that likelihood of the looming ex. Awfully bad for business I tell you. Here’s the thing. You have a steady partner who you love and are happy with. Everything in your life is going well. Why the hell would you want to mess that up by involving yourself with your ex? Why did you break up with them in the first place? Wasn’t that hurtful enough? Now you are almost falling over trying to hide your phone from your woman. You pick up calls in private because you’re too conscious that you could press the speaker by mistake and give yourself away. Curiosity is a good excuse but lame none the less. Fire is good when it gives warmth but consuming when it burns. Love your own and let the mirages entertain you at a safe distance. You need to Jack Off that ever lingering ex.

Finally, a habit. What is it that you keep doing that messes everything up? Could it be your alcohol? Drugs perhaps? Laziness no? Whatever it is, consider what we keep losing due to our bad habits. We lie through our teeth, no wonder the truth is a fairy tale! We love money so much that passion for work is a fleeting fantasy. We love what we can’t get. What we get we can’t love. We despise that which is meant for us. You want the pretty girl in the music video so much that you can’t stand waking up next to your own; beautiful, virtuous and ever loving you woman. Our lives are a constant rat race. We chase after the wind hoping to catch the rain. We get sad when we can’t go out to enjoy the sunshine yet we still refuse to leave the comfort of the rocking chair in the house. For once, let’s be selfish and think about the things that would make us happy. It’s an uphill battle but it CAN be won. Jack Off all those those things that prevent you from fulfilling your destiny.

Dedicated to my great friend Nishan in Ethiopia who sadly, has stopped believing in a positive destiny. A Jack Off is in order.

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I Do Coke. I Do Jack – Two! The Reply

Today I introduce to you my ride or die friend Eva Gichana, whom I love dearly. Having known her for almost ten years, I have to say that she is one of the most honest people I know. It especially sucks when I need her to lie to me or at least hide the truth to make me feel better!  She never plays with her words when it comes to expressing herself. I respect this beautiful woman who also happens to be a very talented singer. It came as no surprise when she called me up to reprimand me after reading my article ‘I Do Coke. I Do Jack too!‘. I am still trying to figure out what I said that was wrong. Did I mess with the wrong women? Culpa Mia 😦
-Mikey
By Eva Gichana
One or the other…or maybe not… I wish to join you in your drink and conversation…But me, I’m more of a double lime and sprite woman.You bring up some very solid points in your thoughts . . . I just wonder about some of the semisolids.Must she really choose on matters that do not even seem mutually exclusive? Can’t she want to be president and not be misconstrued to have something to prove?

You ask ‘who are we gaining independence from’…I’ll tell you. And it has less to do with this generation and more to do with our forefathers that passed this down. Off course ‘Independent man’ sounds silly. In the same way that say ‘colourless water’ sounds silly.

The man has always been independent…The term independent is almost synonymous with the word Man. Society (as far back as African traditional history goes and pretty much many other traditions) has always painted the woman as a dependant and one that needs provision by a man. This in itself is not toxic. What is ugly and what we are seeking ‘independence’ from is the scorn accorded to the said species as a result of this perception that she cannot provide for herself.

You and I agree that yes she can provide and depend on herself…but when she loves you she will let you do these things because you love her but with a full understanding that she can do it for herself. It shouldn’t be a choice of independence or love. I think an independent woman is easier to love.

The journey of life is much better travelled with someone. While you say a man’s needs are simply to have an eat-drink-work-sleep-play lifestyle, remember to leave room for what she wants to do other than stand beside you and watch you eat drink work sleep and play.

Superman didn’t find Loise Lane sitting there doing nothing. She was at work. There is more trouble out there to get into for superman to come save her from 🙂

Nyambura


I Do Coke. I Do Jack too!

By Michael Ngigi

Every once in a while I ask myself out on a drink at my favorite bar near my workplace. I like the status this small old place accords me. They know my drink and what day to serve it. On a day like this, they know that I want something that tastes woody, almost like charcoal. So my 70 year old bartender dissappears behind the counter and a few minutes later he appears with a double Jack and Coke poured over ice flakes. This is a perfect man-drink, bold, sophisticated and mature.  You should see a woman drinking Jack & Coke. It is curiously sexy, more like a woman driving a muscle car only less dramatic. You have to be careful though. When a woman is on Jack, you may have to help her protect her own reputation at some point. Know what I mean?

So today, I invite you to drink with me; make time. It is enlightening and refreshing.  You will get to know how I think and why I do things different. I like to think of  this as ‘my yoga’. This is where I come to re-live moments and sometimes, to chart the way forward. Other times I come to lick my wounds and once in a while, to fight my battles. All in all, I drink for a good moment. Great memories. A interesting conversation. A clear thought on my family, great friends, my woman and lastly, success.

First Jack. Critical thinking.
Among the things that interest me and get me all emotional are world politics. Lately, I am a bitter man. Depressed by the news, I am constantly on the lookout for other things to watch. Among the things that make me angry is the all too familiar allied interference in third world politics. I still can’t place a finger on the exact reason why Libyans started a revolution. Before you call me a jackass please here me out. Why would you take to the streets when your country has one of the highest HDI (Human Development Index) in the world? What valid reason would you want to take up arms when your country has the 10th largest proven oil reserves in the world? Free education up to university level would certainly make your life very easy no? And the list goes on to include free health care and a mean wage of $9.51 per hour. Any way I look at it, I can’t help aknowledging how the Libyan question is too familiar. It has the same feel as Somalia, Afghanistan, Iraq and Egypt. The first world is hungry for energy and raw materials; it is understandable why they would want to interfere with some in the the third world. Some because they choose to rush to Libya’s aid while Ivory Coast is let to drown in chaos. Feel me? Anyway one can only take so much when it comes to politics. Let me get me another drink please. I insist you taste my Jack. Very smooth.

Second Jack. Is it just me? Or…
Now all women want to be president. Fair enough. We are equal. In this day and age we have to appreciate that they are making faster strides compared to their male counterparts. They hold the best jobs, drive the best cars and what not. I am proud of the woman especially our African woman. She keeps our families together. She makes sure that our wealth remains in the family. She is a superwoman. However, there has been a strain of women that are cropping up and it’s scary. And as I say this, I would like all the women in my life to know that I light not this match with the intention to start a fire but to shed light.

The first time I heard about the term independent woman I was confused. I mean, is there anything like an independent human being? Who are we gaining independence from? Think of the term independent man. How does it sound? Silly? I thought so. Being born on your own and having a name unique to you is proof enough that you are your own person. You have a role. Get this. Which woman does not want a man who can protect her and provide for her regardless of her ability to do the same? What woman wants a man who hides behind her when trouble comes calling? A woman wants a real man. A man who is gentle yet still has the fire of a fight raging within him. A man who gets silly and funny but has the wisdom of a centenary man. Women want a man who has solutions and answers. The kind of brother who would lay down his life for a fellow human being. A MAN man.

And so it is, with the other side of the divide. A man wants a woman. As simple as that. A woman who works had and is an achiever. A woman who is intelligent and adds value to a man. A woman who is humble despite the life on the fast lane. Which man wouldn’t want a woman who can at least cook an egg? One thing women should know about cooking for a man is, it is not the outcome of her cooking that matters but the heart behind it. We could eat boiled shoes for all we care! But how it tastes will depend on the heart behind the cooking. I love me a woman who let’s me love her in all the ways a man should. Protect her. Provide for her. Learn from her and gain her trust. A woman who doesn’t have anything to prove. She has a bigger title and takes home a bigger piece of bread (it could happen boys) than me but it doesn’t matter as long as I play my part. A woman who knows I am superman. That type of woman would have me do anything for her.

Lastly, head of the house. Yeah I said it! Shoot me. There can only be one head of the house. So boys and girls, please go, seat, have a discussion and decide who it will be and do the math while you’re at it here are examples to work with. Driver and co-driver. Plug and socket.

Blackjack. The Game.
Whether you like it or not. Love is a game. As Sun Tzu would advise you [were he alive] play only if your chances of winning are good. Secondly, one hand cannot clap. If love is one way, let it go. There are things that should act as clear indicators that your relationship is headed for a fall. The first one is PRIDE. If you are the type that finds it hard to say you are sorry when you wrong someone, you’re headed for doom. If you talk down on your woman just because she is a woman, you will end up a lonely and biter old man. If you disrespect your man just because you rake in more than he does, you will suffer frost in your heart and when you’re older, you will be seen molesting young boys, quarter your age.

The second one is ignorance. When you love someone, be observant. What is a small issue to you could be the biggest issue to them. Pay close attention to what your partner is feeling and what they communicate. It could make you or break your relationship.  Communicate. Good communication is the key to everything. Deeper love. Great sex. Trust. Zeal for life and happiness through  good and bad times. Ignorance is the most stupid form of foolishness. Someone quote me…

Love Jack. Why I did it.
I remember I was the first to wake up that morning after partying through the previous night.  Looking at my watch, I realized we only had 15 minutes before the hotel restaurant downstairs closed down the breakfast buffet. I tried waking her up but she was clearly not in a state for breakfast. I kissed her and went downstairs to feed hoping I’d bring back some food for her. At breakfast, I couldn’t help fidgeting. Meals never taste good without her at the table, that is a fact I have given into lately. It’s like watching an interesting movie without the sound. I tried looking out the window but that too wasn’t fun. Then a flood of thoughts, feelings and emotions drowned my mind. At that moment, I wanted her next to me. I wanted to hear her Pa-ha laugh more than ever. I still find it odd how she manages to make me laugh even when I don’t want to. We hit it off from the moment we first met. It almost felt like we had shared a lifetime together before. She knew me by heart. I knew her by soul.

I left the table hurriedly and rushed to our room. Just before I opened the door I reached into my pocket and took out the pouch to look at the contents. There it was, shining brightly. The old man in Ethiopia had crafted it beautifully. These nine stones would express exactly what I felt about her. I was ready. I hid the pouch in my pocket and I started the tense wait for the right moment. I didn’t know that fate had arranged for us to visit the ski that evening. Opportunity.

A man’s needs are very simple. At the end of the day, we just want a simple, eat-drink-work-sleep-play lifestyle and most of all to be next to the woman of our dreams.

Final Jack. Closing time.
It starts to rain as I beckon the waiter for the bill. I love my drink why lie! Just before I leave the balcony, I instinctively pull out my phone to call her. Honestly, however good my drink is, I know that there’s nothing better than to end my day with a stimulating conversation with my final Jack.