See the World Through My Eyes

Posts tagged “Emotion

Growing a Pair

How do I even begin to tell you what’s in my head? Sometimes my mind takes these dangerous trips that can get quite unpleasant if not controlled. There are thoughts that would change my life dramatically if I were to action them. I’m talking about those instances when I’ve had an intense rush of emotion. Ok maybe emotion sounds a bit too sissy so let me use the word moods. For instance, when someone works you up enough to make your tempers go from zero to stone-angry in a flash, what goes through your mind? Do you feel like bashing their head in? How about farting in their face? Do you cry in complete helplessness? Road rage. Do you suffer from it? Do your ears get hot when an obviously stupid person mocks you on the road and ‘apologizes’ by sticking out their middle finger at you? I bet you’ve ever been stepped on while walking in the busy streets of downtown Nairobi. Did you head-butt the culprit? Did they even say sorry in the first place? Oh I know. You did nothing. You were too scared to share with your aggressor a piece of your mind. You kitten! Yes you. You are probably the world’s lamest pussy. You just walked away murmuring curses under your breath because you were too scared to do anything.

This post is for people like you. Too scared to express these God given urges. I say God given because you were created fearfully and wonderfully and definitely not fearful and always wondering what to do with your emotions. My point, try not to get angry if you really don’t have the balls to express and carry out what’s in your mind. I’m not saying that you need to employ violence in expressing yourself. All I’m saying is that to forgive and move on is the best way to deal with your morbid bursts of anger. That’s the best way to show off balls.

Anyway, all that has nothing to do with the kind of balls I want to talk about today. I’m talking about the balls you need to effectively deal with procrastination. We were created with dream and ambition inside. Have you ever noticed that children are never afraid of dreaming? We all wanted to be pilots, lawyers and doctors when we were growing up. One by one, we dropped out of the race when life got real. We then took up other dreams which we eventually swapped for ‘easier’ ones and now we’re stuck in this murk of a rat race and life is hard. All because we lacked the balls to grab our dreams by the horns. Yes my friend, horns and balls work hand in hand. I hope you have noticed that I placed the words ‘work’ and ‘hand’ together. Hard work will always have to be included if dreams are to come true. Even thieves work hard to plan a heist; who the hell do you think you are?

So anyway, the past is dead. What’re you doing at the moment? Are you stuck in a job you never dreamt of when you were a child? You’re just there for the money right? I get it! You’re just there for a while as you plan a way out. Are you stuck in a friendship or relationship that has never felt right? Do you hate waking up to the same thing for what seems like an eternity? Or maybe you’re still stuck in the mud hoping that one day things will change. Are you stuck in your past? Are your heydays holding you back? Do wish you’d just wake up to a different everything? We all know that may never happen unless you make that move.

I am a firm believer that we were all made for a purpose. We have been placed on this earth to do a job. No matter what you choose to do, the world will always take note and learn from your actions and inactions. All you have to do is decide what type of case study you want to be. There’s always something you can do to change your situation. What’s the use of whining about your bad job if you don’t have the balls to pull of a resignation? How the hell does it help to drool over a girl you always see on your way to work if you’re too scared to walk to her and say hi? Ambition is dead without action. Consequently, ambition and action have a shelf life. This means that you will always miss opportunities if you keep saying you’ll do it tomorrow.  Horns are just a costume if their bearer lacks the balls to take the first step.

Locked in every human being’s DNA is a map that details the path to your destiny. We all know people who’ve ended up hitting the jackpot out of the weirdest of jobs. You can be that person. I can be THAT person. I guess all we need to do is keep trying or at least prepare to die trying. Most often than not, heaven will always answer you immediately you learn the lessons you are supposed to learn. After all, what use is it to have great success yet be unable to contain it? You have come a long way and you have been to hell and back but it wasn’t all for nothing. You were learning the ropes. You were growing a pair.

Balls are selective. They only grow on those who make the choice. You have balls you have will. Having balls means you do what you have to TODAY. It should be noted that no one is born with balls. We all have to grow a pair.

Advertisements

Why You Should Cheat

I could get shot for what I’m about to say but I don’t care [Someone had to do it anyway]. I owe it to my readers to always tell them the truth about life. In the process, I risk exposing myself and losing everything I have. So today I will tell you why you need to cheat and not feel guilty about it.

I believe it’s okay to cheat. In fact, your life depends on it! How the hell does one live just committed to one individual? My head hurts just at the thought of stopping everything for one person. It is a crime of dire consequences and the already dead and miserable can bear me witness. We were not made to be committed to one person and we were definitely not made lacking the ability to love more than one.

Please control your emotions and let me finish… 

Let’s do role play. You be the troubled patient and I’ll be your wise shrink. Lie down on my couch and close your eyes. I will ask you questions that I will need you to answer truthfully.

How come you are still lonely despite having a significant other? Do you go through those moments where your life is just blank and aimless when your partner is ‘supposed’ to be there for you? Does it make you wonder why in the first place you have a boyfriend if they can’t seem to do their ‘job’? Do you think that your girlfriend is self centered and only thinks about herself 200% of the time? Is she always going on about her shoes, her moods, her job and whining almost all the time? When was the last time she asked you how you were doing? Oh I forgot, it’s always about her isn’t it? Doesn’t it get to you how she complains that you’ve changed lately?  How she likes the person you were when she first met you? Does a small part of you wish that one day she’ll break up with you and set you free?  Do you feel imprisoned? Does a smaller part of you wish you’d bust her cheating on you at some point  and just kill the relationship abruptly?

Your boyfriend only cares about soccer and is always running the town trying to make that extra buck you don’t need. Is he always shrouded in mystery? Does it feel like he’s playing you? How about his girlfriends that you always suspect and hate with your life? How come they make you angry yet you found them already in his life when you met? Why now? Would you rather he cancel his plans and spend an evening with you over a romantic dinner? Do you feel like he doesn’t understand you anymore? Do you feel like you’d want a guy who’s always there for you, caring for and pampering you? Well I got a solution for you. Cheat on him. Cheat on her. Let’s all cheat on each other and let’s just be one happy planet!

Before you go breaking the champagne and hurling fists at me for bringing out your innermost sentiments, I would like to explain what I mean by cheat.

I want you to take your mind’s eye back to who you were before you met your girlfriend. You used to have great friends, good times and very likely an active hobby. You enjoyed meeting up with those flirty cute girls every once in a while (Every man enjoys the company of  fly women). Remember how your phone always used to be busy with friends calling you up for plans? You never used to schedule any drink ups but they used to come to you. You never missed the weekly soccer practice and the quarterly fishing trips. Come Mondays, you were always upbeat waiting and anticipating for the next exciting experience. You used to be active. You used to be a player!! You were the MAN back then! Let me also guess one more thing, you were never broke! Remember?

And you my dear girl, were really pretty back then. You almost got police protection because the boys wouldn’t let you live in peace. They always waited in line to take you out for dates. You had a great body because work out was your daily devotion. Remember your love for shoes? Everyone knew you had amazing taste. You were quite the dancer too! Was it salsa classes you were taking every evening? You always said salsa was your life. When did you stop writing? Did the inspiration die? Nothing to write about anymore? It must be a long while since you went out with the girls. You always never missed the chance to travel and take pictures. What went down? Now you’re always home when he calls. Always complaining how lonely and bored you are. Forever whining about how he never makes time for you and is always running around with his friends. Look at you! You can’t even watch a movie without falling asleep in the middle of the action scenes! Poor girl, don’t you realize that the world didn’t change? Your man is still the same man you met 5 years ago. The only difference is when he came into your life, you threw your [life] out the window.

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why you fell in love with your significant other in the first place? What did you find attractive in them that was too strong for you to resist? If my guess is right, it’s because they had other ‘loves’ in their lives. It’s what made them stand out. You loved how he was passionate about music and cooking. You liked how she struggled every weekend with her paintings even when the world knew she was a crappy painter. How she was passionate about singing even when all she could manage was a weak croak in the shower.

As humans, we are attracted to people who seem to have the good stuff going for them. People with dreams, ambitions and charisma. People with hobbies and active lives. No one wants to hang out let alone commit to boring and blank people. It’s time to get back to who you were when you first met her. It’s not going to be an easy task my brother. At first, you’ll have to do it behind her back because she won’t take your sudden change of character just lying down. In essence, you’ll have to cheat on her with the good things that made her fall in love with you. I’m talking about those things that you like doing alone. Don’t worry, it is a natural desire to want some alone time every now and then. It would be a strenuous experience to drag your woman when going to have a drink with your friends who are women wouldn’t it? Ever seen a cat fight? No? Good. Don’t be in a hurry to see one.  This ‘cheating’ does not include getting romantically involved with another person while still in a relationship. It does not involve doing things that will hurt the one(s) you love. This ‘cheating’ is about bringing back the spark and setting you and your lover free.

So you like practicing on your guitar alone? Go for it! All I’m saying is that you are more attractive when you have a life of your own. When you have some hobbies and friends that are exclusive to you. Of course there are those things you can do with your partner and have fun while at it but then there are things that define you. Stuff that reminds you that you’re still on course and in control of your life. The moment you lose what makes who you are, you lose your life and you lose all the people around you.

Take time to evaluate and appreciate yourself. When you love yourself, the world loves you back. When you love yourself, you are able to love others without effort. When you develop yourself, you are able to empower others. When you cultivate and are comfortable in your character, the world learns to lean and trust in you.

So go on player, It’s time to cheat on your partner. Don’t feel guilty about it; you will see the results soon enough.


Wonder Where They All Are..

 

Flo Mwangi is a gifted writer who is known for her golden words. Maybe it is in the way she presents real-life-familiar situations that leaves readers wanting more, or it could be the way she speaks to me. I have to admit, she is one beautiful soul that I will forever be thankful to ever have met. Intelligent, reliable and well grounded. I also have to admit that I had to talk to her nicely just so she could let me publish this article. Take in her words and maybe then will you find out the reason why I am a hopeless fan. I am clearly biased.

By Flo Mwangi

I was musing about how interactions with people over the course of our lives has influenced and shaped us. Right from a tender age, from your teachers and playmates back in grade school, your first crush. I remember mine, my first crush, I thought I really loved him then again what did I know about love at that age? For all I knew love could’ve been the wonder of a beautiful butterfly fluttering about, or that wonderful feeling I got when mum came home from work with some goodies, or when we did those lovely family picnics, or when my best-friend carried extra snacks just for me, oh the excitement!! But it was so much fun just being together I mean we did not overburden each other with unrealistic expectations we accepted everyone as they were, one big happy family we all were, every day seemed like a holiday, there was so much harmony. And all these were manifestations of love in its simplest and purest form, we of course complicate it along the way as we grow up and life happens.

One thing I miss about being young is how despite of whatever catastrophes’/disasters might’ve been going on about us, we remained completely oblivious and so grounded in the moment it’s like we existed in a protective bubble and everything just bounced off of us. Nothing mattered more to us than the moment, we were not burdened by the worries and cares of tomorrow. We had so much energy, it’s like life just flowed through us and then growing up just saps it out of us  *sigh* Where’s the time machine??

Ok maybe all was not rosy but our greatest fears, which at the time seemed life threatening, were school bullies and the meanies who in their torment sure sharpened our survival skills; we knew just when to sprint and what not to say around who and that just about covered everything. The meanies, now that’s a frustrated lot in life; you spend your life bringing nothing but agony and grief to others and think Karma will just pass you on by? Think about it though, if it weren’t for all those encounters we wouldn’t be who we are. All those people showed us how to live like we do. Whether it’s my ex best friends who I really don’t know how we grew apart, or past loves. I sure have had experiences of what love is and isn’t.

To those I loved but never showed it enough and they were taken from me too soon or we just drifted apart, and they took away a piece of my heart. I might not be able take that back, much as I wish I could, but from that I sure learnt to appreciate and cherish loved ones better for as long as I still have them around. Then there are those that have been there from the start whose loyalties haven’t changed even in the tides of time. Timeless friendships and unions; the beauty of such people is I never need to explain myself to them because they understand me and love me, faults and all, and they only want what’s best for me. They’re ever challenging/inspiring me to be better. And not even my worst profanities can keep them away.

But I’d have to say the lessons I hold dear were from those that scarred me.  Right from*Stacy who couldn’t stop running her mouth about me in grade school, for a long while I thought the problem was with me while clearly baby girl had bigger issues. All that bad mouthing was just a projection of her own shortcomings and nothing to do with me. And the likes of *Stacy don’t change much even in adulthood. But knowing that people will always have an opinion about me and how I should run mine, and that I cannot for the life of me please everyone, helps me deal with all that -if you ain’t got nothing constructive to say you could keep going till you’re out of breathe and drop dead for all I care. To *Mark whose broken soul I was so bent on loving till it mended until l I realized no amount of loving would fix his broken self. Positive change can only be brought about by one’s own acceptance that indeed they do have a problem and genuinely seeking out solutions to that problem. Love is just not enough if the one you love has no willingness to change for the better, no matter how much of it you give, and making up excuses for them trying to cover up for their flaws does not help the situation either. Hoping that you can love someone enough to change them is deluding oneself. Before long you find yourself in an emotional rollercoaster that completely drains you emotionally and physically and that is no way to live. Walk away from that.

And if you’re lucky all that wrong might be righted by an encounter with someone who forever changes your perception of love. Right from our first date I knew there was something special with this one. I went into it with an open mind and having no expectations whatsoever except to enjoy myself. I did not have the ‘Mr. Right” checker list we girls secretly carry around. We have all the wrong things on there anyway; all centered on image. Now see that’s where we go wrong. I’ve done that; stayed with someone cause we looked so good together, picture perfect and behind closed doors we could not have been more incompatible. Or because he was well off and seemed like he had a lot going for him and boy did he have a lot going; women, children, physical and emotional abuse. You get the drift.

Back to my date; expectations aside, guard down, I have never had more fun. There were no facades no fronts. He made me laugh. I felt comfortable in my skin and so did he. It was like we had been doing this for years. How do you explain being with someone for the first time and yet feeling like you’ve known them all your life? There was chemistry too; not the ardent urge for physical gratification but a palpable excitement brought about the anticipation of what could be. By the end of that evening I knew that that was the onset of something wonderful and I wasn’t wrong. He has proven to be the best thing that has happened to me in a long while. Loving him is effortless. Even after all this time, every time we get together feels like the first time. I could talk to him for days. He gets me. He sees right through me. Now would you fault me for wanting to have that for a lifetime? Didn’t think so. With him am constantly reminded that there are still some good people in the world, and that we all have a right to happiness in spite of past disappointments and failures. We might never forget the pain caused by those that did us wrong in our past but neither can we keep punishing those that we meet for others’ mistakes. We should never give up on love.

I know we all sit and wonder where all these people -that’ve touched our lives one way or other- are. We’ll never see those days again, and things will never be that way again but that’s just how it goes.

People change, but memories are forever.

http://flo-mwangi.blogspot.com/