A Tale of Two Sweeties

By Michael Ngigi
Yeah sometimes I want to think I’m the greatest writer that ever lived. So I won’t lie to you that I came up with this heading after I had written this post. I just thought it sounded clever so I decided to write based on the heading. Cool huh? Hater. Well let me see, we have three women and one man…no…two women. Otherwise we wouldn’t call them TWO sweeties right? Ok, here goes my story. The first part is real, the other parts are made up. It’s interesting how you continue reading even when you know the ending will be a lie. Dummy.

The Truth
While we were out drinking Jack with some of the readers who responded to my offer, I overheard a disturbing concept. That a man always has two women in his life. The mother of his children and the love of his life. He loves them equally. Is this true? Please tell me. I don’t have children so I wouldn’t know. As for the love of my life? Well I think mine is perfect. You should meet her. I also have a feeling she will not comment on this article. She happens to be a very proud woman; one of the reasons I love her.

The Lie(s)
Dear woman, I know you love your man and you are confident he loves you. Well he does. Trust me. He does. He also loves your counterpart. Equally. Have you met her? Let me introduce you to her.

You see, your counterpart used to be you at some point. The love of his life. Let’s call her Mary. When your man first laid eyes on Mary, he lost his breath. She was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. He loved her…no…lusted after her instantly. She wore these high heels and sexy outfits that seemed fresh every time he saw her. He asked her out and wouldn’t back down until she accepted on the fifth time to meet him. On their first date just like yours, the two instantly knew they were meant to be together. And so it didn’t take long before they started going out.

Their relationship was like a dream just like yours now. There they were, a beauty and a prince with nothing to loose and a great life ahead of them. She took care of him and in return he did everything for her. Sex was great, in fact the appetite and energy never seemed to run out. Young, energetic and madly in love. She was homely and in time she proved herself worthy of a long term commitment. He proposed to her and after a few weeks they got married. Contrary to most marriages, theirs was made in heaven. It still is.

Last year they got their third child. You wouldn’t believe this but Mary is now hotter than she was when they were dating. She looks well kept. She is shapely and looks like one of those MILFs in our local Dettol™ ads. Hot and hard to get. So begs the question, WHY is her husband friggin dating you?

Let’s go back a few hours this morning. Sam (your boyfriend or Mary’s husband…whatever…) went to work very late and completely worked up. He hates the fact that for the second year in a row he has woken up to no breakfast in his own house! His wife is too tired to make him breakfast. She knows he doesn’t have a any clue when it comes to cooking. So why is he late today? You know the answer! He passed by your place to have breakfast. He likes the way you cook. It reminds him when he was dating Mary. Did I tell you that Mary quit her job a year after they got married to take care of the kids? Well she did. So every evening they fight over small stuff such as why he came home late by 5 minutes. It seems she has too much time in her hands.

Everyday she has to go to the mall to chill because she doesn’t have anything else to do. The kids are at the day care all day. There at the mall, she will meet with other ‘like minded’ individuals who will tutor her on how to manage her husband better. In management mode, she will occasionally deny her husband sex untill he gives in to one or two of her numerous requests. If not that, she is tired and just wants to rest. Managing the house help and dropping off the kids in school is tough work you know.

Last week on Sam’s birthday she sulked. Sulked because he didn’t bring her a present. Yes it doesn’t make sense to Sam but it does to her! And the list goes on and on. Issues and more issues. Luckily, you have none of those issues. Believe me when I tell you, Sam truly loves you. You are independent and better, you have a nice job. You always remember to buy him something at least once during the year. You take care of him like a child and ask nothing in return. You just love him innocently. He loves you and he also loves the mother of his children the same way. You are both VERY important to him. His two sweeties.

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I have been getting very emotional responses to my writing. I would therefore like to state clearly that the opinions expressed herein do not necessarily represent me or any of my co-writers. Keep sending your reactions but I can’t and will not guarantee to alter or edit any post in this blog because of your moral standing or personal opinion. Let’s just have fun reading hapo vipi?